July 24, 2008
Hi Guys!
So, I had read a previous post about a girl who's boyfriend likes to have sex everyday... well, mine is the opposite. I like having sex and 3-4 times a week would be great for me... but my boyfriend could go days, weeks, and even months without it. Not only does it make me sexually frustrated but, I also feel very self conscious. I always question if i'm not pleasing him (we were virgins until we started dating each other and have only been with each other ever). I question whether he loves me or even if I am physically not attractive to him (although he tells me all the time how beautiful and 'hot' I am). What should I do and how could I get my boyfriend to be a little more sexually attracted to me?
by Doc Rogers
Dear Lost in Love, physical intimacy is a very important part of a relationship. You should be honest with your partner that your needs are not being met physically, and explain to him that the lack of physical intimacy is hurtful to you. This is a hard discussion to have, but partners should be on the same page when it comes to how they express their love for one another.
It's also possible that you've misunderstood his lack of sex-drive. Has he told you he can go that long without intimacy, or is that an assumption because you two have gone that long? If it's an assumption, perhaps he is thinking the same things about you? "Why isn't she responding to my compliments...why aren't we intimate."
In this type of situation, assumptions won't solve the problem. You two need to talk openly and honestly about your physical needs. If your needs are not being met, then you need to be willing to tell that to him.
A relationship should not be a sexual prison where one partner holds the other hostage. Suppress the fear of having this type of conversation and talk to your boyfriend.
Let us know how it turns out.
Cheers.